Nope. I Got This!

There’s nothing like motherhood to shine a spotlight on the unseemly parts of the heart. How did a mother ever see her own sin before kids helped expose it? Some days are more humbling than others to be sure. Others are kinder, offering a gentle insight to an ongoing reality. That is where today’s post has found us.

I’m typically a pretty independent person by nature, able to handle whatever, willing to go and do what needs doing. If you are the same, then you understand the double-edged sword this is. Being capable can keep us from seeing our need. I saw this up close and personal in my son who shares the independent spirit! He is quite capable for being a solid five years old! He handles more and takes initiative more than others twice his age. This will for sure be one of his greatest strengths, which also means likely one of his greatest weaknesses.

Deklen had been sick for a week. He was weak and still not a hundred percent, but we were headed back into work, at least for a little bit. (Being in camp ministry has the beautiful perk of bringing kids to work! So grateful!) He had filled his backpack full of all the things he wanted to play with while we had our staff meeting and did some office work. The bag was clearly burdening him, but in true Deklen fashion, he dug deep and climbed the gravel road to the office. I offered to carry his bag for him, but he said, “Nope. I got this!” After he tried a little I said, “Are you sure you don’t want me to help you out and carry that for you?” Adimantly (and a little irritated) he said, “Moooom! I’ve definitely got this!” Oh boy, there was no convincing him. His mind was made up and my insisting was only making him stubborn about it. My mom heart didn’t want him to struggle so much while not feeling good, and the steepest climb was upon us. Walking beside him, I lightly grabbed the loop at the top of the bag and lifted some of the weight off his back. If he didn’t want me to carry the burden, I’d at least lighten it.

While holding that loop, I was hit with the reality of the situation. This is how I walk through life more often than I care to admit. Something is clearly too much for me to handle, but in my stubbornness and pride (let’s be honest) and overall bad habit, I dig deep, weighted down but determined, and walk the path before me. All the while, I have this loving God walking beside me saying, That’s too heavy for you. I’ll carry it for you. Let me help. “No God, I’ve got this.” Until I don’t.

I’m pretty certain God is consistently walking beside me, lifting the loop on my burdens and lightening my load, even when I don't realize it or think I need it. That’s His grace and lovingkindness, His Father heart. The older I get, the easier it is to receive and ask for the help, but I still catch myself being stubborn. That wired DNA is hard to break away from, isn’t it? I’m feeling grateful for the heart of my God to meet me where I am and keep me going forward!

How have you seen God as a kind Father recently?